Funny Metrology Stories

Thraxas · 01-11-2006 -- 16:47:30

I agree with Hoopty. You have an interesting PMEL career, doc. Thanks for the entertainment.

MIRCS · 01-11-2006 -- 18:39:08

Thanks Doc....keep em up.

BTW did you know Fred Morecroft?

?

docbyers · 01-12-2006 -- 07:34:20

No - that name doesn't ring any bells... Did he know me?

docbyers · 01-12-2006 -- 08:25:31

Chief Maier at Ramstein was an old K8 troop, and when I was K8 Supervisor, he would quietly leave his office, wander back to K8, and go in to the "cage," our copper-encrusted "noise-proof" enclosure where we did the sensitive calibrations, and also where our K8 console was. Chief would get in there and help a tech with whatever calibration they were working on.

Barbara, the German civilian lab secretary, would wander back after a while looking for the Chief. Chuck Kulpa (K1 Supervisor) and I would block her way back to the cage, all the while saying "No, we haven't seen the Chief. Have you tried QA? Maybe Scheduling? Did he go to lunch?" Barbara knew damned good and well where the Chief was, but would just smile and thank us. "Have him give me a call if you see him..."

After a while the Chief would head back to his duties. The guy never forgot about life on the bench, and liked to keep his hand in the game every now and then. He still had his K-stamp, and would actually turn some production every so often just to stay sharp. He was a good example of what a good manager is- he cared about the troops, took care of them when needed, and never forgot how life was in the trenches. He taught, mentored, joked, and made damned sure your ducks were in a row. His door was always open, and a beer or two after hours was just fine with him. Not a bad example to follow...

Rocket · 01-12-2006 -- 14:05:28

I didn't know your Chief, but Barbara was still thre when i PCS'd in 99.

Thraxas · 04-05-2006 -- 16:55:21

Ah...I miss doc's stories.

docbyers · 04-06-2006 -- 08:16:42

For you, Thraxas, by request...

At Ramstein, each section took turns cleaning up the breakroom, usually for a week at a time, I think. The T.O. Library was not too far from the break room, and The TSgt that worked as TODO was named "Mac," Doug MacArthur, or something like that. Well, Mac had a white coffee cup- on the outside, anyway. INSIDE the cup is was very dark, very brown, the result of YEARS of coffee drinking. He joked that if we ever ran out of coffee, he could just fill his "cup with hot water, give it a good stir, and Voila!"

Me being of German descent, a fastidious bastard and neat freak, I thought it would be a funny joke if I cleaned his coffee cup, inside and out, and left it on his desk. ...and so I did. I spent a good hour with a Brillo pad and some triclorofluoroethane, and scrubbed that baby 'til it gleamed like a fresh snowfall... I set it on his desk, and he found it later...

He also found me later, and ripped me a new one up one side and down the other, and explained in no uncertain terms that a coffee cup was personal property, very private, and I should just leave his alone. There were a few expletives inserted in there along the way, as I recall...

I apologized profusely, and spent quite a few months getting him black coffee to make amends. I think he forgave me, but that was one joke I never played again!

cs137 · 04-06-2006 -- 13:40:24

Ever tried to kill a cockroach by taking him down to 2000 feet of sea water in the pressure chamber and then venting it to atmosphere reallly fast? We often tested small creatures to see what would happen and you know those darn things always lived. The geko's never survived.

MIRCS · 04-06-2006 -- 13:54:36

Frogs never made it....never

Thraxas · 04-06-2006 -- 18:54:10

Quote from: docbyers on 04-06-2006 -- 08:16:42
For you, Thraxas, by request...

Thanks, doc.

cs137 · 04-07-2006 -- 06:44:36

Was working in the shop one day and some one was calibrating a knc 3666, well they had just changed a transducer and all the sudden the small plastic hose blew off! The little swagelock nut and ferrel flew clear cross the room and hit the guy standing next to me right in the groin!! Awesome shot!

flew-da-coup · 04-07-2006 -- 06:54:40

cs137, We tried the samething at NSSF Groton, CT. We also put the cockroach below 29 inHg vacuum. Now that's a site. After all that it didn't kill him. Liquid Nitrogen ended his life...

docbyers · 04-07-2006 -- 10:28:12

One more for Thraxas...

It's summertime in Cheyenne, Wyoming , 1984, and the PMEL crew at F.E. Warren AFB are outside having fun. John Hepler and Tim Schwantes both own older-model Ford Broncos, and they are very competitive- one gets a 4" lift kit, the other gets a 5" lift kit. John's is blue, Tim's is orange, and they have the big tires, winches on the bumpers, the whole works...

The base there had what we euphemistically called the "base lakes." They were really a couple of good-sized ponds, not very deep, and a good place to swim. Hepler gets a wild hair one day and decides to drive his Bronco across the lake. Greg Grimmius and I are on the shore, beer in hand, grinning profusely, because you don't have to be a psychic to predict what's going to happen...

John is doing well, motoring slowly across the lake, until, pretty much dead center, he's standing on his seat because there's about 6" of water above his floorboards. The Bronco is slowly idling it's way across, right up to the point that the water level exceeded the top of the distributor cap. Distribution stopped in quite a hurry at that point. The watchers on the shore are laughing hysterically...

...and we did what any good friend would do in this situation; we called Hepler's 4X4 rival to come winch his sorry butt out of the lake. Schwantes shows up, grinning ear to ear, and wades the winch cable out to Hepler's dead Bronco, and proceeds to pull him out of the water.

John spent quite some time living this incident down...!

Mikey · 09-24-2011 -- 00:46:14

**Bump**

I'll have to wait until I seperate to share some of my stories... Loved reading this old thread, though, and thought 5 years later some of you might have more good ones.

measure · 09-26-2011 -- 13:23:20

In the summer of '75, I was stationed at McChord AFB. We had a squadron softball game, and the game was accompanied by 2 or 3 kegs of beer for refreshment, of which copious amounts were consumed by all. Not a sports guy myself, I stopped by to watch the game, riding up on my new Honda Gold Wing motorcycle, just introduced. Well, the game ended and the squadron commander comes over to check out my motorcycle. (Keep in mind that horizontally opposed four cylinder, water-cooled, shaft drive motorcycles were unheard of at this time.) Inevitably, the commander asks to go for a ride (on the back). Both of us 'under the influence,' I decided that I should oblige him and carefully, in compliance with posted speed limits, proceed with the commander on the back. After a bit, he hollers over my shoulder and says, "Open this thing up!" In a momentary lapse of reason and good sense, I headed to the perimeter road on the back side of the runway and proceed to crank it up to about 100 mph or so with the old man screaming 'Yippee!' and 'Yahoo!' from the back. Fortunately, good fortune smiled upon me, and not only did nothing happen because of it, but the squadron commander politely failed to acknowledge the incident thereafter... probably the best for both of us!